So, I'm back. I've been missing my personal forum for venting and whatnot, and by whatnot I mean venting. I'm going to challenge myself to make one card and one layout this weekend. I have a crap load of canvas projects on the list too, but for now we'll just stick with little goals.
Speaking of little goals, I've gone back to Weight Watchers I swear for the last fracking time. So week one, weigh in, .06 of a lb. What the frack?? Fracking frack frack in the frack with a frack. Frack.
Sensing frustration? Maybe. I know blah blah that it's just number. But you know what, when you're looking for confirmation of hard work and efforts made, a number is a great measurement tool.
Well I got back on my horse today and made my first card of 2013. I feel like it was my first one ever. I'm glad I did. It's like breaking a really long bad streak and finally breaking free.. ok, bit on the dramatic side. Let's just say it's been too long and move on from there shall we.
As usual, for my first inspiration jolt I turn to Paper Smooches Stamps. I find their stamps always brighten my mood, even if I'm creating a card about feeling under the weather.
now, on to a few other things:
I'd be flat out lying if I said I was doing ok. I'm not. I'm grieving Little Miss Stella like it's nobody's business, which it isn't really, because frankly I'm feeling quite judged by it. Reality Check - Mike and I did not have kids, and for the past 14 years she was my baby. It's bad enough I lost Tucker a year and a half ago, but now losing Stella in November, it's just about killed me.
Here is the last picture I got to take of her. I took it a few hours before we had to take her to the vet.
Grieving sucks. It hurts and I hate it. But this Sunday is one day less I'll have to go through it. Maybe tomorrow will be a bit easier.
I lost a total of 9.5 lbs this month. I wanted it to be 10 but I'm not going to get super hung up on it. It means I have about 59 to go for my December 31st goal which will complete Phase 1 of my taking over the world with my total awesomeness. Next year will be part 2. I'll worry about that part this time next year. For now, I'm pretty over due on my blog post on Coup de Gras.
So that's where this crazy mind is at.
PS. I think I'm losing it. I'm starting to put Milk in the cupboard and cheese in the freezer. I think there might be something wrong.
Better gets some shut eye.
As usual, I prefer to make a grand entrance after everyone has arrived. In other words, I'm late as usual. Mike likes to call it "Hayley Time" Whatever.
So this Sunday I plan on finally spending some time creating something, perhaps participating in a challenge or two even. I'm looking forward to spending time using I don't know, some of the ZILLION stamps that I have.
Right now though, I'm focusing on my health and wellness...otherwise known as, This girl's on a diet.
Actually I'm not. I am simply changing my life. If you want to know more, look to the right and you'll see my weight loss blog. It's probably boring, but for me it's going to be my journal during this time. Then I'll make it in to one of those blog books. I think that would be cool.
Is anyone out there making New Years Ressies?
I heard this stupid thing on the radio the other day. "Oh, I don't make New Years Resolutions, I make New Years Intentions, because resolutions are meant to be broken, intentions aren't"
Resolutions are supposed to be more serious than a plan, or a hope, or a desire. It's intent with purpose.
Intentions are wishy washy excuse setterupers. Just ripe for "Well it was my intention not to get off track, but what the hell, I did"
Didn't someone say that the road to hell was paved with good intentions?
I think I'll stick to resolutions, thanks very much.
I'm actually still combining my list... but so far this is what I'm working on.
1. Get Healthier and Fitter (shouldn't be too hard ... ha ha ha...well it can only get better)
2. Pay my bills on time. (Don't ask)
3. Put myself first. (Time etc) (see #4)
4. Give myself 1 day a week to do what I want, for me.
5. Blog a lot more...both.
6. Get out and participate in life.
Like I said - still working on them. I've got the best of intention to finish my list of resolutions..
It's been a long time since I felt I could put any effort in to anything other than just surviving the day to day. Losing Tucker last year and now Miss Stella I feel like I have to move in a different direction altogether. I know it's hard for people to understand that sometime pets can be as close as family - but for me these little muffins were my kids. Mike and I won't be having children because of a few different reasons. I always took comfort in having Tucker and Stella to focus that love and attention on.
Now they are gone. I miss them unbearably however I need to move forward and fill that gap with purpose. I'm going to fill it with taking care of what I need personally.
I know this a personal post, whatever. It's where I'm at right now. I'm thankful for the close friends that I have who care about me. My family has been wonderful and of course Mike. Everyday has it's challenges, but I have people around me who love and support me. What more could I really ask for?
I want to make time for things that I find joy in. Things that I feel strength from. That's what I need right now. Joy and strength.
I never meant to take such a long sabbatical from posting, but i suppose the last 18 months have really been a real lean read. I'd love to be able to blog everyday like some people can. I really admire that. I just don't seem to be able to do so. I think I'm far too boring for that nonsense.
I have to say - I am so glad it's finally fall. Yay! Happy Fall people! I'm not one for hot weather, I mean I don't hate it, I'd just rather the temp didn't go above 18-20 C when I'm not allowed to be on vacation. I hate going to work when it's so beautiful outside. It's simply a cruel joke. Therefor it should rain more or at least be sunny and cold. I suppose it's a good thing that I live in the Pacific Northwest.
I woke up this morning feeling like maybe participating in a challenge. Well, since I have such an undying love of Paper Smooches Stamps, it was the first place that I headed over too to see what was what challenge wise on their Paper Smooches SPARKS Page.
Lucky for me they had a challenge ending today. No time like the present to put ink and stamp to paper.
Cool shades is a colour one. Can't say I was terribly inspired, in fact I found it quite difficult. I had some sticktoitiveness for breakfast I guess (aka my most awesome homemade french toast) so I figured I'd push through. Otherwise they wouldn't call it a challenge now would they.
So - here is the challenge inspiration..
Nothing wrong with these lovely colours, but I found since I was in a fall state of mind, it was hard to get in to the groove. So here is my card.
I figured that I stuck very close to the challenge theme. I used as close as I could for colours and actually I only used PS stamps. I can't wait, I believe at the end of this month the christmas ones come out. Double YAY!!
Ok on to other things..
Have I mentioned lately that I love Pinterst? Social Hoarding Bookmarking to it's absolute most sublime. I've had a stressful summer, so I've spent quite a fair share of my time logging pinhours. God I love it.
The other thing I'm enjoying these days is the show Drop Dead Diva. I just discovered it so I've been marathoning through the seasons.
If one positive thing has come from me watching that show it's reminded me to pull my appearance together and buy some new make up. So I did. Did you know that Benefit Cosmetics makes the worlds best mascara? If you feel like venturing away from the worlds other best mascara which is clearly classic Loreal Voluminous in the grey and gold tube - then try "They're Real" from Benefit. AWESOME.
I'm not trying to sell the stuff - I just am wanting to share how awesome I'm finding it.
Also, I'm dying to do my nails in a side french manicure which I think is pretty wicked.
I suppose I'll leave you with the final thought for now - since this is turning in to a novel... It's only 10 more sleeps until Sam & Dean return to us. Have Mercy!!